Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Balancing guilt

Not about missing a day or two of blogging, apparently I'm one of the few that try & blog everyday. (if you do-please don't comment & correct me. My comment is directed at those that DO NOT...you know (JESSIE) who you are)

My guilt is trying to balance wanting my DD to have the childhood and wonderful life I never had and thinking she should pay her own way like I had to. Now before my mom take offense at that statement..I'm refering to having the money & ability to go to college. College was never discussed as an option when I was growing up. I probably could have applied for scholarships and gone but I made STUPID mistakes and missed that boat. That regret is why I'm so thrilled my DD is a smart girl and is going to college-with scholarships. I hate the fact that I can't support her so she doesn't have to work. We will not discuss the "mistakes" that caused her to not have a FULLY free ride during college. The point is, she must work, especially since she chooses to not live with a parent. I don't blame her but living in an apartment has it's price.

She is behind in her rent & needed some help (AGAIN) to get caught up. I really do not want to help because her (money-work) choices are the reason she doesn't have the $$. Her father & I agreed to help for one of the two months.

She came by my office this morning to get my part of the amount and had the nerve to cop an attitude with me because I was making the check out to the apartment complex and not to her. She wanted to deposit it into her account and then write them a check. COP an attitude with me? I'm helping to bail you out..again..and you cop an attitude because I choose to make it out DIRECTLY to the apartment complex-for my records? ARG!! And she was on her way to spend the afternoon at the LAKE.

F-me!!

OK, I feel better now. She will be pissed when she reads this but -oh well. I love her and am really proud of her and want her to have that wonderful life I mentioned but **ck a duck...do NOT dare give me lip about how I choose to lend you money. Yes, I said lend. She said she would pay me back when she starts her second job.

This is me holding my breath.

Aren't you glad I decided to post today? LOL!!

BTW, did you sign up for Beryl's Crop yet?? If you don't sign up and it gets postponed again you will have no one to blame but yourself. Not to mention I'll be disappointed in you. And you don't want that to happen do you?

Til later...................
'

6 comments:

Jenn said...

This is a tough situation. I remember thinking when I was younger that it couldn't possibly be that hard to live on my own and I had all these fantasies about how life would be. Boy, I got a quick reality check when life as an adult wasn't all I thought it would be. It is great that Jess is in College and working; It will help build her character but by the same token she should also sit down and budget her money. If she realizes she can't make it own her own in an apartment, she should probably reconsider living with a parent and saving what she is used to paying in rent so that she can afford to be on her own at a later date. It won't be failing, it will be making an adult decision and realizing that its okay to still need a little help. She is still a teenager.

Good Luck! I know you will worry regardless ;)

Love ya

Michele L from Tampa said...

I sent you a private message to let you know my thoughts on this.

deirdre said...

hugs to a good mom:)

Lisa D:) said...

Even more hugs to a great mom. I respect your parenting style and think in the long run it's what will enable your dd to turn out the awesome adult she's on her way to being. Just stick to your guns and she'll know eventually that it's what was best for her and that it was all done out of love.

Cami said...

More hugs comin' your way!! I think most mom's would've done the exact same thing! Love ya!

Dee said...

hugs to a great mom!!!